This year’s theme for Black History Month is 'Proud To Be'. Ese is proudly and openly living with HIV – and shares his experience to tackle the stigma surrounding the virus in Black communities and beyond.
By going public with his HIV diagnosis and celebrating the achievements he’s made since, Ese is smashing stubborn stigma in his community and wider society and changing attitudes towards people living with HIV.
Ese was born in Nigeria and felt unable to be his true self. ‘I was born at a double disadvantage, I was born in a country that didn’t accept or appreciate me for being a gay man and a culture that doesn’t talk about sexual health.'
Ese decided it was time to find some space, somewhere away from home where he could discover himself. ‘It was my dream to continue my studies abroad in Australia with the hope that I would finally fit in.' As part of his visa application, Ese needed to take an HIV test.
'When I got to the doctor's office and they said "There's no easy way to tell you this, but you're HIV positive"... My life stopped. In that moment I thought, how do I tell my family and friends? How do I deal with people in society? How do I deal with people in the church knowing that I’m HIV positive? It was a fear of how people would perceive me. I thought it was the end of my dream of studying abroad.'
But Ese didn’t give up. He was finally accepted for a course in Scotland to study Public Health and came to the UK in January 2020. ‘I got the help I desperately needed. I used to struggle to find the words to speak about what was happening to me. Now I know that it was the stigma around HIV and the prejudice and discrimination that comes from it.
‘One thing that kept me going and helped me get through the dark place I was in after my diagnosis was wanting to prove myself. I wanted to prove to myself and other people like me who grew up in a country like Nigeria that you can be gay and it isn’t the end of the world. You can be HIV positive and it isn’t the end of the world.
‘That keeps me moving forward, being able to show myself and the world that life can be what you never expected it to be; it can be beautiful.
Ese is now a Master’s graduate and works for Terrence Higgins Trust as a Health Promotion Specialist. He also shares his personal experience of living with HIV to education, corporate, public sector, and other audiences as part of our Positive Voices programme.
‘Positive Voices is like therapy for me – I have a voice. As a speaker for the charity, I am helping to challenge stigma by telling, owning, and being proud of my story. After my first talk when I realised people weren’t judging me, I cried. I felt at home. I finally felt free.
‘I would not change my journey because it’s made me who I am. I can now say I am proud to be a gay Nigerian man and I accept myself. I am proud to be HIV positive and I accept myself. I am going to live a full life.'
